My 1st awards

I received my 1st awards from Josephine at http://josephine-beeleng.blogspot.com/ .Thank you so much, dear ^_^

According to Jo, to accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award with his/her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've discovered and think are marvellous! Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been selected for this awards. (Thx for the info, Jo)

I wish to pass these awards on to :-
Jen
Jerry Kiat
MeRy
Chris
Merryn

H1N1 disaster

Just being told last nite by my ex-husband that my son are forbid to attend to school for a week, he has to quarantine himself at home...I was only been informed around 8pm+, which makes me really really mad... as I was suppose to pick him back from tuition centre at 9pm, and I am already on my way... he was already at his dad's house for the whole day...

The school principal did called the stoopit dad to my son, and stoopit him, never even try to find out, why is he forbid to attend school? what is the precaution we should take currently? Is he infected? or is he in high risk? When I asked his stoopit dad, he everything also said dunno... wanna eat shit, also dunno! really so pissed off with him... its not that I wanna look down on him, but... come on lah! ppl must learn and grow.

Previously, some of my friends think that I should give him a chance to be a good father or maybe a companion to me... sorry lah! I really made up my mind.. NO! NO! NO! He will causes me never ending trouble, a disaster to my life, a burden to me, which i tasted it during our 12yrs marriage... today, i finally managed to dispose it off... and I'm not gonna put myself in the deep shit anymore...

Ya, true! A person should be given a chance, but.... to him... I really dun think so lah, as he doesn't willing to improve nor to upgrade himself.

Oh ya! You guess wat my stoopit ex said? when i suggested that within this 7 days, better let my son quarantine himself at his house, as I dun think its good for him to come into contact with his sister who is only 9yrs old. The stoopit man replied:"then gua how? if he infected gua how???" I tell you, if he is standing in front of me, I will surely smack him... What sort of father is he? really shit...

I managed to speak to my son's form teacher, and came to understand that, actually, there are 5 students in the school has got high fever, one of them is my son's classmate and were all send to general hospital for blood test, the blood test result will only be out on this coming saturday, so, for those who has got minor or major cough, flu or bodyache are ordered to quarantine themselves at home.

Just received phone call from the school again this morning, they are following up closely on those blacklisted student, who has got cough... whether they have other symptom...

My slogan now... You can come out from the wrong hole, but never married to a wrong man! or else, your whole life will be totally ruin.... like ME!

A day without mobile

This morning was in a hurry... only realised %&*%$# I forgot to bring my darling mobile out, almost reached lia lia's school liao... couldn't detour back to take, as lia lia nearly late for school... forget about it... reluctant to drive all the way back to get, as my house is quite far from town...say about 25 minutes...

A day without mobile is actually not too bad, I seems to enjoy the peace very much... hehe!

Wondering how many calls i missed today... yet to find out, when i reach home tonite!

New offer!

I went for an interview at an architect firm yesterday. Of course lah, very nervous loh, even surf throught the net, to find the technic on how to prepare for a job interview... and nevertheless.. also tried to find about their company's profile. Do lots of homework leh!

It was quite a pleasant interview session by a troop of professional architects, kuku me, its being a long time, never seen such lots of professional species... The team are quite big... all are my age... I should be able to interact well with them in future...

An hour later after the interview session, I received feedback through phone, that I have been offerred post as Head of Admin, sounds nice ya, but surely there are lots of responsibilities loh... Frankly, I really dun mind to take the challenge loh! Same old story again.... after my bf left me... I cried everyday, kuku here everyday.... Keep telling myself, its time for me to take a step ahead... to see, smell & feel the whole new world out there... to have a new environment... new troop of friends... new new new! I wanna prove that... without him, I can still shine like a star... I can be SOMEBODY! I can I can! talk very loud lah, I know it will not be easy, but, I'll try my very very best, squeeze myself really really hard...to the maximum.

Creepy nite out!

Invited by June last nite for a drinks at her mansion, so sweet of her.. thoughtfully planned a drinking session to ease my sorrow, with her gang of friends.

They were altogether 6 of us, we spend the nite drinking wine and cracked some jokes. Just before we left, June shared her real ghost stories...

Due to the reason that her house is located deep within lush trees... creepy creepy! We quickly cabut after her stories cuz don't like the idea of 12 midnight! Mag commented that's double dose of "mabuk"!

I left at around 11+, and drove home hastily..managed to reach home incredibly within 10 minutes...(cuz so damn scare mah...) They asked me if I am flying my car... hehe! sort of ...

This morning, Eric send me sms to mock me, asking if I am interested for a vacancy in his friend's company, duties of the job is flying a small light air craft... (gonna spank his butt, when i see him!!!)

Next time, I better ask for a lift lah, instead of driving alone... so damn horrible lah... I think I cannot take the ghost stories loh... My weak heart cannot take it lah... didn't had a good nite sleep.... dragging my feet to office this morning... moreover, got an interview to attend this afternoon... die hard lah! blank blank blur blur now, still not yet calm down... really chicken oh *_^

Do you ever love a person so deeply in your life?

遇到曾經愛過的人… 記得微笑向他感激… 因為他是讓你更懂愛的人!

If you happens to meet your ex-lover, remember to smile and thanks him, for he has teached you comprehend on love. U agreed?

For me, I think it's so damaging... Leaving me makes him happier, but it causes me to lost all my confidence on relationship.

He was so sweet, humble, loving and patience, when we are so sweetly in love for 2 years plus, silly me didn't even realise that his love has faded away months ago, until he gets pissed off and told me off...

Once a while, I'll still miss him terribly...

I miss to be kiss at the forehead, when I am sad..

I miss to be hug, when i am insecure...

I miss every of our memories...

I just watched a taiwanese movie by the name of EASY FORTUNE HAPPY LIFE. Which trigger me again....pissed off! The storyline was about a grandma, who spend her whole life waiting for her boyfriend, who actually cheated on her, that he'll return to marry her, and at last she passed away, before she can manage to see the heartless man return to see her... until her very last breath, she still believe that he might have some obligation that holds him back.. until her very last breath, she still believe that the man actually love her... until her very last breath, she still grateful that she die with his love...

Die hard lah, me!... I feel I'll be the same like her...gratefully, wanna live alone until my last breath with our sweet memories and love... and die in glory!

I feel wanna knock my head on the wall already, why am i so stubborn, so faithful, so naive... also think that, he might has some obligationssssssss....(stoopit idea ya!)

He might be having his great time on bed with his new gf now, and yet... I still hold on to our promises and couldn't let go...

Please!!!!! Anyone can please help me.... Is there any good solution to get through all this shity idea...

Marriage Life

Had breakfast with old friends at coffeeshop nearby office this morning. Chatted about our interesting past, our old hairstyle, our old fashioned dress.. which is around 15 years ago, that moment we are only in our 20's, energetic and fun..

We are all having the same complaints...Everyone agreed that their husband are not as loving, caring, patience & adorable like before. Everything turns the other way round.. During the dating time ah, everything also ok, everything also can... even if we unreasonably ask for the moon, also ok... Now ah, try lah! They will surely ask us, if we have lost our mind?... Who's fault actually.. Is it b'cos wife not patience, caring, loving enough that causes the husband,lost their patience/love on us?? Or is it b'cos the husband thinks that wife should compromise?? For me, relationship is a both way traffic, right? both parties should contribute..and women definitely needs more attention, love and care, even after married..

Thats why, I rather remain single now.. I really don't have the confidence to involve in relationship anymore, you may says that I am pessimistic, but I have came across 2 broken relationship, if only 1 party is contributing, its not gonna work at all..

U agreed?

Vision!!!

Its being quite sometimes, I didn't update my blog, as I was too tight up with my daily schedule.

Yesterday, I went to a seminar organised by my AIA insurance company, the speaker was one of our most successful young insurance leader, Mr Lopez, a 30yrs old Indian, the most impressive part is ... he can speak fluent mandarin and hokkien..and he is invited to give a talk in Taiwan by a big Taiwan organization.

He came from a broken family, his dad left them for another women,when he was only in primary school, and he has a retarded sister, his mum was a homemaker... Its really a sorrow to him, which he has to work at coffeeshop after school, in order to earn to pay for his school fee and support his family. Eventhough, he is having a hard life, but he always has an vision that he wants to change his life, and expecting a better life.

He taught us that life is in our own hand, we have to visualise and trust in ourself, we can change our life..

He joined AIA 4yrs ago, when he was only 26yrs old, and he is now a millionaire, his current minimum income is one million a year, staying in a bunglow cost a million. His philosophy is.. we must have a mindset, a goal, a vision.... most importantly, we must be a big dreamer... daring to dream... We must always believe, we have a huge capability... we can expand to the maximum...If there is a will, there is a way... Every black clouds, there's a silver lining.

I get so motivate after attended his talk, which really also boost me up mentally and physically..

There were also awards presentation, I told myself, next year I wanna be one of them to stand on the stage to receive the award.. I want to & I will!!!

I drafted out my chart today, my dream home, my dream car, my dream life... set my vision, and I'm ready to go....

I wanna change my life, I want my life to be better, I wanna have glory of my life...

Wish me good luck ya, friend!

Disaster day!

Yesterday was a disaster to me, as I wrote on my previous write-out, received call from sis that daddy falled down in the toilet, she couldn't afford to carry him up, end up he lie at the entrance of the toilet, I rushed back to assist to carry him back to his bed, feed him food and drinks, arranged him on the relaxing chair, then headed to work.

After work, I rushed back home to prepare some meal, as my ex-sister in law back from kl wish to have some prayer at my place, in the midst of cooking, daddy called, asked me to go over to assist mum to bath for him.

Later that, i rushed back home again to finish the cooking, its almost 9 already, time to pick up kids from tuition center, on the way back home, mummy called again, saying that dad's blood pressure shot up to 180... I rushed over again to see him, check his bp and monitor him a while.

Arrived home around 10 something... had dinner with my ex-sister in law, didn't even manage to pray.. do some wash up.. boil porridge for daddy... dragging my feet headed to sleep....

This morning slept over until 6am something...gosh! I suppose to wake up at 5am to steam fish for dad and send over together with the porridge for his breakfast, lunch and dinner... at the end, gotta send kids to school 1st, then detour back to daddy's house... brought the raw fish and steam at his home lah... so damn tiring now...

God, please give me good health, strength and stamina to sustain through this hard time.. Amen!

Daddy call!

Its being quite sometimes, I didn't update my blog, had been busy with daddy lately and trying to squeeze time to sort out all my things which scatter all around in my new house... headache!

While drafting my blog just now, suddenly, I received phone call from daddy, he told me he falled on the floor and my sister couldn't afford to carry him up... I was so shocked and quickly rush back.

When I reached home, he was lying at the entrance of the toilet, my goodness! I quickly asked and checked with him, if he knocked on his head or anywhere... luckily not.

We carried him up on to the bed and thanks God, nothing serious happen.

Most importantly, I know God is always there for us, to guide and protect us. Amen.

Daddy got stroke!

My daddy got stroke attacked on friday morning at 2:30am, luckily, he able to wake my mum up by whispering for help. Daddy totally lost the sense on his left side body.

We were so in shocked and I couldn't even recall what's the number for the ambulance, my sister only managed to find the phone number for Timberland Medical Center, so we ordered their ambulance, and he was been send to TMC for refferal to Sarawak General Hospital, as my dad doesn't has a medical card, and we really couldn't afford for the sky high medical fee.

My dad arrived at Sarawak General Hospital around 3:00am by TMC ambulance, the doctor checked on daddy and told us that he is semi-urgent case, so gotta wait till 8am for CT Scan, we asked the doctor, if he is semi-urgent case, why can't they do CT Scan for him immediately?? Stroke can be serious, right? U know what the doctor told me???? The CT Scan staff only start work at 8am, we can only call them in, if the patient is seriously unconcious... what the fuck is he talking about? Is it means that only if the patient nearly gonna die, only then they will do CT Scan for them immediately???

At that moment, I was so helpless...wat i can do is just to pray and pray and pray to God.. keep whispering at my dad's ear that he'll be fine, God is with him...

God really show his miracle, whereby, when i informed my Group Manager about my dad, he and his wife quickly called up the Pengarah of Sarawak General Hospital to expedite the check up for my dad, and guess wat? within 30 mins, they done CT Scan & X-ray for my dad, and send him in to the minitoring ward for close observation.

When i return to hospital from office, the young neurologist is there to check on my dad too..from the 1st glance, he showed his unhapiness towards me.. the reason is, b'cos the Pengarah of SGH querry them for the delay of treating my dad. While explaining about my dad's condition to me, he talked in a way like I have killed his beloved.. (shit! so damn angry!) but still try to control my anger... who's fault now??? If anything happen to my dad due to the delay of treatment, I'll make sure, he'll be in a deep shit.. He talked like its not a big deal... Wat if the person lying on the bed is his dad????? Can he still be so calm???

The neurologist showed me the CT Scan report that there is blood clog on the right side of the brain, due to his high blood pressure, that burst the blood vessel, that causes him losing the sense on the left side. No operation needed, as the blood clog only cover 1/4 right side of the brain.. (I wonder, if it really covered the whole right side...still can survive???)

The doctor also mentioned that my dad's blood pressure medicine dosage is not adequent enough for him... another fuck...All the while, my dad having his follow up closely at Polyclinic... if the dosage is not sufficient enough.. Who's fault again????

Daddy had been transferred to Sentosa Hospital on last friday for Physio therapy treatment. I wish he can get well soon. Please pray for my daddy.