Chance...

I find it's rather hard to meet someone, who's sincere.

I'm mentally so restless, after gone through a broken marriage and a failed relationship.

Maybe, I just dun have the luck and fate, or maybe, I'm fated to be alone for the rest of my life...

Maybe, u'll think that I'm too optimistic... (Yes, I am!)

I always have so many obstacles in life, my friend always comment that I'm like a drama queen... with never ending problems.

Tong Tong Chiang!!

Went to sibu to celebrate my chinese new year with my beloved grandma and my sister, Irene.

Irene brought us to eat the famous Tom Yam Beehoon... damn hot, but thumb up!!!!

My beloved sister, Irene.

My 2nd sister Irene, me, Cousin Amy and 3rd sister Hong Mee.

I am wrong!!!!

Silly me still choose to believe that he left, b'cos he doesn't want me to suffer with him...

Finally, received the news from a friend of mine that he actually visited his house on the 2nd day of chinese new year, he says that my ex-bf are doing great, of course having a perfect happy family life with 2 adorable kids and humble wife.

But, in the other hand, he also has a gf too, who's in age 20+, young, radiant & sexy.

His bullshit promises still strongly carved in my mind, I remember he'll always look into my eyes and sweared that I'm his last women... even if I'm 6ft under.

I wonder how many women he sweared the moon to, I feel sorry to his new gf, as she'll be the next victim like me, I wish she can overcome it. I wish she can never end up like me... still shadowing by all his fucking promises...

I always believe, wat goes around, comes around...

Good luck to u & all the best, TP.

Heart drenching news

Heard from a friend of mine that my ex-bf is currently not doing so well, having some financial difficulties...

It reminded me of what he says... it still deeply carved in my heart and mind... He says that if ever anything happen to him, he'll rather makes me hates him... he'll choose to take the pain himself... I dun blame him, if it's really his decision... If it's really out of his good intention... I rather choose to believe the lies.

I wish he's able to overcome the difficulties.

He's still my precious one. (I know it's very silly to say tis!)

I'll be away

My suitcase is packed and I'm ready to fly off on 11 Feb to Sibu to celebrate chinese new year tis year. It'll be a long break and I'm looking forward to spend sometimes with grandma and indulge myself with all the local lip-smacking frippery and cuisine here.

I love to stroll along the nite market here too, my sister told me that the atmosphere will be tremendously happening days before till eve of chinese new year, there would be full of lantern decorations. People will still be grabbing at the eleventh-hour.

My intent to get away, partly is b'cos...of him... the pain still stalking & slashing me every now and then. I dun wanna stay back for valentine....

Pain

The pain persistently stalking me over & over again, why do I miss him so much recently?

Why am I still stuck at the past? Why can't I accept the fact that he'll not be there for me anymore? Why can't I accept the fact that he doesn't love me anymore?

It's so heart drenching...

I miss every of our single moments....

Wish

Life can be simple, but we live it hard.

I have so many things to aim in life. When I was young, I wish I can grow up faster, I wish I can be somebody, I wish I can meet someone, who will love me unconditionally till the very end.

What we wants dun normally come around... no matter how we simplify it.

I thanks my ex-bf for he has granted me the most precious moment in my life. The most happier memory, though it's just lasted for 2 years, though, he has abandoned me, though, he might have totally forgotten about me.... I will always love you, TP.

I have not cried over him since a while ago, but every nite, when i closed my eyes, I can still clearly picture his loving smile pampering me to sleep... the smile that catches and melted my heart... I never forget about him, he's been kept deep at the bottom of my heart.

I'll presume that I still have you in my life... I'll still hold your hand till your last breath... I'll keep my promise for you that I'll still love you whole heartly... You are my reason to live on... You are my destiny for all and forever.