It takes me a year to fall in love on him~

Hey~ I'm not lying... It really takes me a year + 5 days to fall in love on him.. (learn to be very accurate.. like my boss(an architect does!) hehe!

ok ok! back to the storyline.

H first date me way back year 2010, in the month of May, umm~ I think lah!

We broke off twice, 1st broke off reason was I'm a divorcee.. Well~ first when he dates me, he knew I am.. right?

2nd reason was to obey his father's will...

So, that NUT left me twice!!

Will you still accept a man back, if he abandoned you twice??? (I bet nobody will~) but, I did it! @_@

Some of you might think that I'm ki siao~ but, after getting along with him for a year plus, his sincerity touches my heart~

Well~ I never dare to says that he's really my Mr Right. It still takes time to prove it! !

TO FORGET SOMEONE IS TO HAVE SOMEONE

The way out to forget someone is to have SOMEONE...

When you have someone to care, to love and to pamper you, makes you easier to forget someone that you reactionary wish to forget... but, it could be hazadous too!

FORBIA...INSECURE...

Finally stepped out for a date, but.. feel so insecure and forbia loh~

I know I have to be positive minded, I know I cannot judge the book by it's cover.. or on the 1st glance... It takes time.. I know!!!

I'm lack of confidence lah~

He's definitely a sweet and loving guy...He always melted me with his cares and words~

I dun believe in miracle... It's the effor that counts.

The society is sick

Met my ex-college mate this morning. Actually, previously met her a few times, but only recently realised she slim down a lot...

As women, u know lah.. sure wanna ask for the slimming remedy loh! but, too bad, the remedy is... to get DIVORCED!

It's so sad to hear that... the society is sick, terribly sick...

Most of my friends are also facing marriage problem now, affair... communication problem... kids' problem.. all sort of problems..

Can't MAN just be more patience and faithful to their wife or gf?

Or is it our own problem? Not loving enough? not tolerate enough? not obedient enough?

I am wrong!!!!

Silly me still choose to believe that he left, b'cos he doesn't want me to suffer with him...

Finally, received the news from a friend of mine that he actually visited his house on the 2nd day of chinese new year, he says that my ex-bf are doing great, of course having a perfect happy family life with 2 adorable kids and humble wife.

But, in the other hand, he also has a gf too, who's in age 20+, young, radiant & sexy.

His bullshit promises still strongly carved in my mind, I remember he'll always look into my eyes and sweared that I'm his last women... even if I'm 6ft under.

I wonder how many women he sweared the moon to, I feel sorry to his new gf, as she'll be the next victim like me, I wish she can overcome it. I wish she can never end up like me... still shadowing by all his fucking promises...

I always believe, wat goes around, comes around...

Good luck to u & all the best, TP.

Heart drenching news

Heard from a friend of mine that my ex-bf is currently not doing so well, having some financial difficulties...

It reminded me of what he says... it still deeply carved in my heart and mind... He says that if ever anything happen to him, he'll rather makes me hates him... he'll choose to take the pain himself... I dun blame him, if it's really his decision... If it's really out of his good intention... I rather choose to believe the lies.

I wish he's able to overcome the difficulties.

He's still my precious one. (I know it's very silly to say tis!)

Pain

The pain persistently stalking me over & over again, why do I miss him so much recently?

Why am I still stuck at the past? Why can't I accept the fact that he'll not be there for me anymore? Why can't I accept the fact that he doesn't love me anymore?

It's so heart drenching...

I miss every of our single moments....

Wish

Life can be simple, but we live it hard.

I have so many things to aim in life. When I was young, I wish I can grow up faster, I wish I can be somebody, I wish I can meet someone, who will love me unconditionally till the very end.

What we wants dun normally come around... no matter how we simplify it.

I thanks my ex-bf for he has granted me the most precious moment in my life. The most happier memory, though it's just lasted for 2 years, though, he has abandoned me, though, he might have totally forgotten about me.... I will always love you, TP.

I have not cried over him since a while ago, but every nite, when i closed my eyes, I can still clearly picture his loving smile pampering me to sleep... the smile that catches and melted my heart... I never forget about him, he's been kept deep at the bottom of my heart.

I'll presume that I still have you in my life... I'll still hold your hand till your last breath... I'll keep my promise for you that I'll still love you whole heartly... You are my reason to live on... You are my destiny for all and forever.

Anguish!!!

I met my ex-bf at my office area, I was walking to have my lunch at the coffee shop downstair... from far, I actually can sensed his existence... and I really met him...

I think he actually saw me from far, as when I sees him, he is actually staring at me... That sudden, I was wondering whether should I walk forward or backward?? My heart starts pumping fast, all of a sudden, I feel dizzy... nearly fainted... but, I keep reminding myself, I must walk past him with glory and pride...

His sparkling smile stalked me... damn! I cry again...

No doubt... I still love him.

Fullstop!!!

I finally went to register a new hp line, from now onwards, cannot simply make uneccessary phone calls... gotta shell out for my own phone bill expenses mah.. thrifty thrifty thrifty!!!!

I met my ex-bf yesterday afternoon, he came to collect his CCTV board, eventually, I returned him the whole set of computer.

He looks so skinny, tanned and aged nowadays, he's not as striking and sparkling as before... I feel the sting... damn! silly, right!

He pronounced that I slim down too much, advised me to gain some weight... Hello! Didn't he realise that he's the one who makes me this thin??? well, no point for the blame anymore...

I insisted to pass him back the simcard... he accepted grudgingly. I greeted him goodbye and wishes him all the best in the future...

Goodbye to the only man I love so deeply in my life... Goodbye all the bare promises... He taught me love, and he taught me how brutal can love be...

I walked off gracefully without even turns back to have a last glance on him... though I still love him deeply.

A stanch decision!!!

I finally decided to change my mobile number.

My current mobile number is subsidizing by my ex-bf, you might think that he’s very kind heartened, broke off already, still grant me this privilege.

I should have surrender this number, ever since we broke off, but… silly me still wish that he’ll return one day, still wish to keep this link, so that he can locate me anytime he wish.

In the other hand, he actually can track my location by friend finders.

However, I knew... if I dun renounce, I’ll forever be the same ME… the sadness will enormously gonna stalk me for era...

That’s the last link I had with him… Goodbye my love... Thanks for all the sweetest memories, cares, love and patience. Good bye… the bare promises…

Single or attached?

I heard from radio mix myfm this morning, discussing on whether you prefer to be single or attached?

Most of the women who called in, prefers to be attached, they feels that being single is too lonely... no one's to care, no one's to discuss with, no one's to share their sorrow, no one's to talk to, no one's to share their piece of cakes, no shoulder to cry on......

For me, sometimes, I think I rather be single lah... Its really not an easy task to maintain a relationship.

Just imagine... 2 different species from 2 different planet.....

How about u?

Oh my goodness...

Geram..... I dreamt of my ex-bf again last nite... makes me mentally and physically so restless...

I dreamt that he brought me to a resort... (our best ever memories was at the resort)

We strolled at the beach, he hold my hands so tightly that he promised that he'll never let go of my hands again, begging me to give him a last chance.... of course, I feel so insecure lah, as he has abandoned me before mah... moreover, I still hasn't recover from the pain that he caused previously..

He brought me to the same seafood restaurant that we used to visit, finally... stoopit me.. really gave him a chance boh... then u know lah... wah! so loving loh, lying on his shoulder.... all the sweet talk lah..then, middle of the dinner, he suddenly disappear.... I tried to call him, but seems like I couldn't recall his mobile number anymore, I can't even find his record in my phone directory too... at the end, he appear, he told me that he decided to leave me again... shit shit shit..

I told him, this time I sure die... so damn heartache..

Then, alarm ring, time to wake up to work... shit!

So damn tired, dragging my feet to office tis morning, so damn restless, like running for thousand miles chasing after my ex-bf... damn!!!

Ever since, he ring me on the phone... I become so mentally unstable... LOVE KILLS!

Ex -bf called!!!!!

My ex-bf suddenly call me yesterday afternoon... He never call me since couple of months ago.

He asked me about the location of the lawyer firm, which he used to send me before, it sounds weird, right?

What's his intention actually? wanna hear my voice? or heard about the news that I went clubbing and intentionally wanna call and check if I feel guilty towards him?

I finally stepped out and fly, why did he appear in my mind again...

I am struggling now, whether to change my mobile number, so that he will not be able to reach me anymore.. I want him totally out from my mind... such a heartless man!

Man!!!!!

A close friend of mine called me last nite, says that she and her husband came into deal for divorce, due to lack of trust and communication.

She tried her best to cope and compromise him, but he never appreciate and ignore her totally, doesn't even bother to have a glance on her, sort of cold treatment, right!

Sometimes, I think... we women are so pitiful...

An advise from June, women must have pride... no compromising nor sacrifice... which I think is quite true...

As I mentioned in my previous post, declaring that I am still shadowing by my ex-bf's spell...

I told both my friends, Eric & June that I wanna be faithful to my ex-bf for the rest of my life, until I'm 6ft under... they think I am silly and stoopit... they says that eventually that man already screwing the whole world, yet I still wanna be faithful to him... hahaha!

Marriage Life

Had breakfast with old friends at coffeeshop nearby office this morning. Chatted about our interesting past, our old hairstyle, our old fashioned dress.. which is around 15 years ago, that moment we are only in our 20's, energetic and fun..

We are all having the same complaints...Everyone agreed that their husband are not as loving, caring, patience & adorable like before. Everything turns the other way round.. During the dating time ah, everything also ok, everything also can... even if we unreasonably ask for the moon, also ok... Now ah, try lah! They will surely ask us, if we have lost our mind?... Who's fault actually.. Is it b'cos wife not patience, caring, loving enough that causes the husband,lost their patience/love on us?? Or is it b'cos the husband thinks that wife should compromise?? For me, relationship is a both way traffic, right? both parties should contribute..and women definitely needs more attention, love and care, even after married..

Thats why, I rather remain single now.. I really don't have the confidence to involve in relationship anymore, you may says that I am pessimistic, but I have came across 2 broken relationship, if only 1 party is contributing, its not gonna work at all..

U agreed?

Confession.. I like someone!

I dream of my ex-bf almost everynite.. I presume he's my one and only love, but, recently, I realised that I keen to log in to one of the blogger's post every 1st thing in the morning, even before I log in to my own blog.

I realised after reading his post, disregard whether its old or new post, it actually can soothe my anxiety..., but, on the other hand, i feel the guilt... towards my ex-bf, his promises still shadowing me...

I really wish i could put behind all the sweet memories I had with him, and hastily start on a new life...

Thanks god, I finally have the heart to admire someone! Its a good kick start for me, right?

New life

I have been quite moody since last week... after my sister told me that she saw my ex-bf holding another lady in his arm, which means, he finally found another love in his life...

I know I should not be sad or bother about it... (stoopit me, right!) He doesn't worth my tears at all too!

Ever since, he left me... my health drastically deteriorate, I lose total 10kg overall, seldom can have a good nite sleep, I dreamt of him now and then... and b'cos of that, I realised I aged a lot...
I cut my hair short to shoulder length last friday... to change a new look... dun suit me kah? dun care lioa lah! already cut ...haha!

I must up keep my appearances again lah... dun wanna look haggard... I wanna live more happily and meaningful.. I wanna colour the wall of my life... I surely can!!!!

U agree?

My friend send an sms...

感叹男人: 有才华的长的丑、长的帅的挣钱少、挣钱多的不顾家、顾家的没出息、有出息的不浪漫、会浪漫的靠不住、靠的住的又窝囊;

感叹女人: 漂亮的不下厨房、下厨房的不温柔、温柔的没主见、有主见的没女人味、有女人味的乱花钱、不乱花钱的不时尚、时尚的不放心、放心的没法看.

老婆是电视、情人是手机、在家看电视、出门带手机、破产卖电视、发财换手机、偶尔看电视、整天玩手机、电视终身不收费、手机欠费就停机。三十岁的男人正在学坏、抱着同一代唱着同样的爱、四十岁男人已经学坏、抱着下一代唱着迟来的爱、五十岁男人最坏、抱着第三代、唱着糊涂的爱！

U agree?

Can couple becomes friends?

Can really a couple becomes normal friend after broke off?

As you know, me and my bf broke off months ago, but he'll still call me occasionally.. Stoopit me! still wish that he'll call, still miss to hear his voice, still wish to know how is he getting on now..

Eventhough, I always deem that I hates him for he has abandoned me.. internally, I still wish that he is happy, healthy and alive.

If you ask me, do I still miss him? Is the pain still unbearable? Yes, yes... can't deny. The pain is still there... and of course, provided that I dun spread salt on it lah... whenever, I think I miss him, or something trigger me to miss him, I'll still cry my lung out, But I'll pray to God, learn to rely on to God, for he will never abandon me nor hurt my heart.

I started to learn to dress well and be more sociable recently, I wish I can be a whole new ME!

Looking forward to my damai puri trip with family & friends this coming weekend. U know ah! My friend's hubby suggested me to roll on the beach like bollywood star, so that he can help me to snap the photo and paste it on my blog.. (Is that the way to celebrate that I am back to single life ah?) hehe!

This trip, I should try to walk alone at the beach, as I never try so before... for the past, he will always be there to hold my hand, lovingly stroll along the beach. I wonder if i dare to try at nite ho.. I'm scare of ghost boh! *_*

I should learn to be independent... I have to!

Wish me good luck ya, friend... I'll update my photos, once I am back after the Gawai holiday next wednesday.

Happy advance Gawai, friend.