CANDLE IN THE WIND

A new change~

2012-02-05T20:14:00.019+08:00

Year 2012, new aunty looks~

Perm and touch up of color for a change... never perm at this length.. to myself, it really looks aunty~ some friends comment that it suits me well... eventhough, my bf wish I could keep my hair long, but he seems to love the current curl, length and color..

ok ok... accept the fact... the hair suits my age... but, i am not going to disclose my age... no no no @_@

It takes me a year to fall in love on him~

2012-01-31T21:41:00.011+08:00

Hey~ I'm not lying... It really takes me a year + 5 days to fall in love on him.. (learn to be very accurate.. like my boss(an architect does!) hehe!

ok ok! back to the storyline.

H first date me way back year 2010, in the month of May, umm~ I think lah!

We broke off twice, 1st broke off reason was I'm a divorcee.. Well~ first when he dates me, he knew I am.. right?

2nd reason was to obey his father's will...

So, that NUT left me twice!!

Will you still accept a man back, if he abandoned you twice??? (I bet nobody will~) but, I did it! @_@

Some of you might think that I'm ki siao~ but, after getting along with him for a year plus, his sincerity touches my heart~

Well~ I never dare to says that he's really my Mr Right. It still takes time to prove it! !

Love Poison

2011-05-04T09:30:00.000+08:00

I thought I have forgotten about him... I thought I managed to defeat the hurt... I thought I finally able to let go of him and start on with a new relationship...

Its being 2 years we apart... I still not pretty sure, the actual reason he left me... or maybe, Its me who's not willing to accept the fact that he has changed.

He still exist deep down in my heart... I still fail to let go... until I face him...

Obviously, he has totally forego...

I have to keep trying to wipe him out from my mind and heart...

I will keep trying...

RESENTMENT

2011-04-27T07:05:00.002+08:00

Why does women always got the blame for a failed marriage?

It's like a death sentence...

Nobody wish to have such a dramatic life...

I'm in such a devastating stage...

CRITERIA

2011-04-25T21:02:00.004+08:00

Wat's ur criteria on selecting a life partner..

Wealth or Love? both...

Well, not many ppl are as lucky...

I think I'll rather choose to be solo... as I dun believe someone will love us unconditionally... except our God~ Amen!

mind-numbing

2011-04-24T20:55:00.003+08:00

No matter how tough you are, never fly alone~ wat a tear jeaking remark...

Sometimes, I wish to be alone.... but sometimes, I feel lonesome to be alone... sounds crazy ya... hehe~

Sometimes, I feel proud to be able to troubleshoot all the tasks in terms of work, but sometimes I feel really exhausted on the workload...

It's nice to have someone to share your hapiness with, but sometimes, it's can be really distressing too...

Wat a misfortune day!!!

2011-04-11T20:49:00.008+08:00

Having such an unpleasant days.... I felt wreathed about the way things had turned out for my best friend. She has been trying so hard to keep her marriage alive, but.. too bad, the husband is a total physchotic... He even accusing me for ruin their marriage.. moreover, he log in to his wife's fb and leave an awful comment on my fb wall, wtf!! The worst part is... he has been spreading faux statement against me... wat an idiot... pissed off with those silly man (not mentioning all man lah!), who never wanna admit their own mistake, but keep blaming others for their own failure... suckssss.... For goodness sake, I use to advise my friend to give in, eventhough, it's not her fault, I still pursuading her to be more patience with him, and this is how he think I am... I have had it enough, and that is... I dun wanna f*** care anymore...

Well, when a person is having bad tide of the day, bad luck will follow suit.. I caught in car accident again, partially is my fault too lah... I know I should not make the turn at the junction, but.. everyone of us who live here does that mah! (wat an excuse ~_~) at the end, butt got kiss loh... it costs me around $1k to repair, the other party promise to pay 1/2 of the repairing fee, but I have yet to receive the $$.... hopefully he won't fool me..

Received an sms from one of my friend's husband, asking me whereabout is his wife? Wat is that to do with me again?? How do I know where his wife is??? obviously, she's making use of my name to do something funny behind... Excuse me... if you wanna do something funny, think of other ways, not ruin your friend reputation here... I am sucks enough... I dun wanna be so kind hearted anymore...

Wat an unpleasant day of mine... shoo shoo~

1ST ATTEMPT

2011-02-22T18:52:00.004+08:00

First update in Year 2011.

Well, A new beginning year for me, lots of unbelievable things happened in my life.. good & bad..

Someone who left me, came back IN to my life... U might think that I'm insane... (STOP guessing.. not TP #_#)

Quote: " We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly."

Ganbateh!

FORLORN

2010-11-21T23:24:00.002+08:00

Feel deserted & anxiety... Always appreciate single life very much previously... but, recently get so petrifying #_#

I wish someone will appear at once to share my hapiness, emptiness.....

Birthday dinner at The Junk

2010-11-07T21:45:00.006+08:00

I had a great birthday dinner at The Junk with my lovely gals friend, thx gals for spending your precious time with me, and the elegant necklace... I love it~ muacksss

Oh ya.. I'm back to my old hair style again... the vampire looks...

I've Never Been To Me

2010-10-29T08:30:00.000+08:00

女人最大的幸福应该是自己给的..

2010-10-28T08:52:00.003+08:00

女人最大的幸福应该是自己给的,
只是有时候我们会被悲伤仇恨嫉妒蒙蔽了双眼,
一头扎进去不愿意出来.

画地为牢,一遍又一遍地重复自己的悲伤.

其实女人不必如此,不用委屈着自己的心情.

快乐永远不缺少理由,没有谁必须是谁的太阳或月亮,
也没有谁离开谁就会窒息而亡.

学着自己给自己制造快乐和幸福,
用自身的魅力去吸引着别人,而不是死缠烂打地拖着某人.

学着去理解去体谅,
学着去遗忘一些不愉快的事情,
学着放弃纠缠于鸡毛蒜皮的小事,
学着忍耐淡然,
学着忽视表面的不安,
学着深信爱着的人.

女人该做一本让人忍不住读下去的书,
而不是一眼看穿的花瓶.

TO HAVE OR NOT TO HAVE?

2010-10-27T12:55:00.002+08:00

Get to know him through a friend of mine...

He's not a local, we only hang out together, when he has his nite stop here... he'll fly off early the next morning.

Somehow, we both have those chemical feeling between us... but, it would be a long distance relationship...

Does it works?

FOR THE FIRST TIME

2010-10-27T09:05:00.004+08:00

I personally likes this song of Rod Steward very much...

The feeling that I lost long ago... I might have forgotten what LOVE is...

Does Real LOVE appears only once in a life time..

Little note

2010-10-25T07:12:00.005+08:00

It's been quite a while, I never drop any of my wording here.

Whenever I log in, I couldn't squeeze anything out from my mind to share here... though, lots of things happened in my life.

Where's my destiny... start thinking about it recently...

PLANET AMORE

2010-07-17T23:18:00.003+08:00

Entrance to Planet Amore, nice ambiance

Simple black pepper chicken chop for dinner with ice lemon tea.

Philosophy~

2010-07-13T20:09:00.005+08:00

Don't let someone become a priority in your life, when you are just an option in their life... What's ur point of view?

When I was young, I was dying to finish my secondary school & start college, after college, I was dying to work and earn more $$, dying to marry someone... yet, I have made the wrong choice in life... regret~ it's too late....

Sunday Project

2010-06-13T14:17:00.004+08:00

My ingredient for Tuna Puff~
1 tin of Tuna in sunflower oil
few drops of lemon
some mayo
some cherries tomatoes
some pineapples

Puff pastry from supermarket..

Bake in oven 200 degree celcius Yummy~

Sibu..I'm coming!!

2010-05-22T18:55:00.006+08:00

Trip was planned by friends about a month ago, it finally comes into reality..

At first, I couldn't make up my mind to go, reason that holds me back were.... I have to drive all the way to sibu around 5-6 hours leh.. can tahan or not? tyres got bunga or not? how much is the petrol? car maintenance... bla bla and bla...

Sis call me early sunday morning, while i still in my dream... Gosh! I forgot to turn off my hp... pestering me to book return ticket for my parents...

Means.... no matter wat holds me back, I have to drive them to sibu.... no more excuses...

So, I'll be spending this weekend in sibu, having kampua mee...

TO FORGET SOMEONE IS TO HAVE SOMEONE

2010-05-11T20:30:00.005+08:00

The way out to forget someone is to have SOMEONE...

When you have someone to care, to love and to pamper you, makes you easier to forget someone that you reactionary wish to forget... but, it could be hazadous too!

FORBIA...INSECURE...

2010-05-11T08:17:00.005+08:00

Finally stepped out for a date, but.. feel so insecure and forbia loh~

I know I have to be positive minded, I know I cannot judge the book by it's cover.. or on the 1st glance... It takes time.. I know!!!

I'm lack of confidence lah~

He's definitely a sweet and loving guy...He always melted me with his cares and words~

I dun believe in miracle... It's the effor that counts.

FAREWELL PARTY

2010-05-02T16:13:00.005+08:00

We had a farewell party for our beloved colleague, Cerren... She's leaving back to Sabah for good. We all will gonna miss her badly..

Cerren, me and min min.

Cerren & sofia.

I miss u, cerren.....

Into the bubble...

2010-04-27T22:01:00.003+08:00

I wanna be patience...
I wanna be humble...
I wanna be friendly...
I wanna be thrifty...
I wanna be loving...
I wanna be gorgeous...
I wanna be outstanding...
I wanna be a millionaire...
I wanna be a fantastic women...
I want all great and marvellous things to happen in my LIFE...
LOA LOA LOA!!!!!

Slim down..

2010-04-19T20:19:00.003+08:00

I finally managed to fit in my Size S cropped cigarette regular fit pant... after the detox... hurray!!!

Wah! tell u ah!! walking on the street ah... like a model on the stage lah... with pride and confidence!!! haha!! (out of my mind dy!!)

Must keep it up...ganbateh ganbateh!!

Detox... simple meal!!

2010-04-15T19:58:00.007+08:00

Had been encounting stomach discomfort the whole day after taking the Kinohimitsu detox juice, so better forbid all sinful food...

So, i prepared myself some salad and breast meat for dinner... yummy!!!

Wanna cut cut cut extra inches at my waist, butt and thigh too.... grm!!!!!!!

AIA Annual Dinner.. FUN!!

2010-03-31T21:36:00.013+08:00

Attended my AIA annual dinner at Four Point Hotel, Kuching on 26 March 2010, so coincidentally, it was my ex-bf birthday too.. the most sorrow day in my life... It harked back the damn sweet yet infuriating memories, sing him birthday song, blow cake.... (damn!!!) Forget about him!!!

It was such an enjoyable dinner.. We won the best costume of the night.. carrying the title 'SEXY BABES/MAID'.

We snapped a lot of photos of our gang, dancing on the stage, cat walk on the stage, posing on the stage, posing everywhere every corner.. haha!! majority posted at my facebook ^_^

Spare some here for your pleasure..hehe!!

Live on happily everyday as last day..

2010-03-18T22:02:00.006+08:00

My dear ladies friends, tis is a very crucial question...

If you are detected to have breast, uterus or cervical cancer... do u have sufficient fund to go for surgery, kimo, re-construct, treatment or etc? or maybe, you'll be thinking.. I'm trying to sell insurance here, but tis is facts of life... I share b'cos I care...

I heard the experience with my own ears and saw it with my own eyes, a friend of mine, was detected to have breast cancer at stage 2... the moment when the doctor annouced the bad news to her, she didn't cry nor feel sad, she faced it calmly... (How many of us can face it calmly like her?)

Today, she still struggle to live her life happily, she takes everyday as her last day... I salute her braveness and her positive minded...

Of course, she spend lots of money on her surgery, kimo and treatment... so, if you are not under insurance coverage? either u'll be queuing up at the hospital until the cancer gets spread or killing urself slowly by sadness, worries...fear....

So, wat's the big deal of $5 a day to have protection on all that??

This is the picture we took couple of hours ago, she showed us that the doctor installed a kimo-pod on her chest for kimo-jec.

Achieved 1st goal in life..

2010-03-16T19:52:00.004+08:00

Since yesterday, I promised myself that I wanna be positive minded.. and I do.. I force myself to remember so hard until.... the next morning when i wake up.....I can't recall the venue and time for breakfast with Carol... pening pening!!!! At the end, gotta call Carol and check with her again...

I took 1/2 afternoon leave today, to have lunch with Carol & Ah Siew at The Hill.. It's so hard to date Ah Siew out for either breakfast, lunch or dinner, it's like striking toto... so, whenever she can make it, dun bother breakfast, lunch, supper, tea break or dinner, we'll just go and hantam saja... haha!!! Carol always said, tis Ah Siew only appear once in a blue moon... whenever we meet up, we'll have lots to talk... from the sky to the hell, from the top to the bottom, we can talk about everything and anything... She's a very interesting lady, she filled our life with joy and laughter...

After we had our lunch, we proceed to have coffee with June and Ida at Bing, another session of jokes and of course, thats where I achieved my 1st goal in life... but, it's also for the good sake of my friend...

Goal in life..

2010-03-15T22:48:00.003+08:00

I went to attend follow up for Law of Attraction, was greatly motivated.

On the past, I was so negative thinking... very optimistic... lack of self-confidence...

I always hope to have a better life and a better future... always think think only lah!!!

Today, I wanna step my feet down... I JOANNA from tis dot, I will success, I will have everything I dream for.

Korea and Japan, Single storey Semi-D, $100,000.00, retirement fund, good life companion, I'm coming!!!

Another step ahead to new hair cut

2010-03-12T21:46:00.004+08:00

Never cut my hair tis short before... I wonder I'll go more shorter again... hehe!!

The society is sick

2010-03-12T08:56:00.004+08:00

Met my ex-college mate this morning. Actually, previously met her a few times, but only recently realised she slim down a lot...

As women, u know lah.. sure wanna ask for the slimming remedy loh! but, too bad, the remedy is... to get DIVORCED!

It's so sad to hear that... the society is sick, terribly sick...

Most of my friends are also facing marriage problem now, affair... communication problem... kids' problem.. all sort of problems..

Can't MAN just be more patience and faithful to their wife or gf?

Or is it our own problem? Not loving enough? not tolerate enough? not obedient enough?

Simple dish!!

2010-03-11T20:28:00.002+08:00

It's boring to eat out everyday, decided to cook some simple dish for dinner.

Though, it doesn't looks tempting, but tasted very nice o! ^_*

Vitamin A - Z..hehe!

Chance...

2010-02-28T02:41:00.003+08:00

I find it's rather hard to meet someone, who's sincere.

I'm mentally so restless, after gone through a broken marriage and a failed relationship.

Maybe, I just dun have the luck and fate, or maybe, I'm fated to be alone for the rest of my life...

Maybe, u'll think that I'm too optimistic... (Yes, I am!)

I always have so many obstacles in life, my friend always comment that I'm like a drama queen... with never ending problems.

Tong Tong Chiang!!

2010-02-24T21:22:00.006+08:00

Went to sibu to celebrate my chinese new year with my beloved grandma and my sister, Irene.

Irene brought us to eat the famous Tom Yam Beehoon... damn hot, but thumb up!!!!

My beloved sister, Irene.

My 2nd sister Irene, me, Cousin Amy and 3rd sister Hong Mee.

I am wrong!!!!

2010-02-16T23:12:00.004+08:00

Silly me still choose to believe that he left, b'cos he doesn't want me to suffer with him...

Finally, received the news from a friend of mine that he actually visited his house on the 2nd day of chinese new year, he says that my ex-bf are doing great, of course having a perfect happy family life with 2 adorable kids and humble wife.

But, in the other hand, he also has a gf too, who's in age 20+, young, radiant & sexy.

His bullshit promises still strongly carved in my mind, I remember he'll always look into my eyes and sweared that I'm his last women... even if I'm 6ft under.

I wonder how many women he sweared the moon to, I feel sorry to his new gf, as she'll be the next victim like me, I wish she can overcome it. I wish she can never end up like me... still shadowing by all his fucking promises...

I always believe, wat goes around, comes around...

Good luck to u & all the best, TP.

Heart drenching news

2010-02-16T13:12:00.003+08:00

Heard from a friend of mine that my ex-bf is currently not doing so well, having some financial difficulties...

It reminded me of what he says... it still deeply carved in my heart and mind... He says that if ever anything happen to him, he'll rather makes me hates him... he'll choose to take the pain himself... I dun blame him, if it's really his decision... If it's really out of his good intention... I rather choose to believe the lies.

I wish he's able to overcome the difficulties.

He's still my precious one. (I know it's very silly to say tis!)

I'll be away

2010-02-03T18:26:00.006+08:00

My suitcase is packed and I'm ready to fly off on 11 Feb to Sibu to celebrate chinese new year tis year. It'll be a long break and I'm looking forward to spend sometimes with grandma and indulge myself with all the local lip-smacking frippery and cuisine here.

I love to stroll along the nite market here too, my sister told me that the atmosphere will be tremendously happening days before till eve of chinese new year, there would be full of lantern decorations. People will still be grabbing at the eleventh-hour.

My intent to get away, partly is b'cos...of him... the pain still stalking & slashing me every now and then. I dun wanna stay back for valentine....

Pain

2010-02-02T21:58:00.004+08:00

The pain persistently stalking me over & over again, why do I miss him so much recently?

Why am I still stuck at the past? Why can't I accept the fact that he'll not be there for me anymore? Why can't I accept the fact that he doesn't love me anymore?

It's so heart drenching...

I miss every of our single moments....

Wish

2010-02-01T21:14:00.009+08:00

Life can be simple, but we live it hard.

I have so many things to aim in life. When I was young, I wish I can grow up faster, I wish I can be somebody, I wish I can meet someone, who will love me unconditionally till the very end.

What we wants dun normally come around... no matter how we simplify it.

I thanks my ex-bf for he has granted me the most precious moment in my life. The most happier memory, though it's just lasted for 2 years, though, he has abandoned me, though, he might have totally forgotten about me.... I will always love you, TP.

I have not cried over him since a while ago, but every nite, when i closed my eyes, I can still clearly picture his loving smile pampering me to sleep... the smile that catches and melted my heart... I never forget about him, he's been kept deep at the bottom of my heart.

I'll presume that I still have you in my life... I'll still hold your hand till your last breath... I'll keep my promise for you that I'll still love you whole heartly... You are my reason to live on... You are my destiny for all and forever.

Uncle's 70th birthday dinner at The Banquet

2009-12-24T15:53:00.006+08:00

I was invited to my uncle's 70th birthday dinner last night at The Banquet.

My mum was so happy, as she rarely has the chance to meet all the brothers, as some of them staying abroad. Some stays in Hong Kong, some stays in Canada, and some in ulu ulu... hehe!

As you can imagine, the elderly were all busy chatting about their past, whereas, we...the younger group trying so hard to snap as many beautiful pics as we can... hahaha! Since, we seldom got the chance to meet each other mah...

Merry X'mas

2009-12-24T15:38:00.004+08:00

Merry merry christmas to all of you, who comes visit my blog..

I'll be celebrating X'mas and countdown with my adorable colleagues at our office. We'll be having potluck and gift exchange, of course maybe some card games or etc.

Will updates our photos if there is any interesting 1.. Merry merry christmas.

Dine at Soulis

2009-12-21T16:51:00.016+08:00

Was invited to dinner at Soulis, France Restaurant last nite. Never know that there is such a high class restaurant at downtown Kuching here boh! Maybe, me too sakai lah!

It was such a pleasant dinner experience, the waitress and chef treated us like we are the Royal Highness... I thought it only show in the movie... Walau! It's real woh! Aiyoh! I nearly forgot wat's my surname already lah! haha! As long as I'm not the one who foot the bill lah!!! So bad me ah!

Here are some partial photos I taken, missed out some of the dishes... sorry lah! when i see the dish ah, totally forgotten wanna take photo already... can't wait to swallow everything in liao!

All their plates, cutlery, table napkin and bla bla... all printed with the name SOULIS... wow! Imagine how much $$$ they dumb in for the business...

DNA office warming

2009-12-21T10:31:00.010+08:00

I was busy for the passed weeks for our office warming on 18 December 2009, such a memorable nite, Finally, its all over!!!! but, we really enjoyed ourselves eating, chatting, joking, playing games and bla bla bla..

Laughed like there is no tomorrow!!! hehe!

Here are some interesting and craziest photos we took during the nite.. totally forgetting our reputation already... *_*

Our 1 and only English trainee here from England...

Our weirdo hangover, losing continuously on 1 of the game... kena punished... haha!

Our unique pose welcoming guest... *_^

My office!!

2009-12-09T15:54:00.008+08:00

We finally moved to our newly refurbished office, it's more like a home to us… We have flat screen TV in our living room, dining room, library area, bbq pit and courtyard... Envy leh!!! Hehe!!! Will follow up with some fantastic photos after our office warming on 18 December 2009 ya.

A new task for me again… cracking my head for the ordering of food, rsvp.. blab blab blab!!!!!

Since, Christmas is around the corner, we are so in the mood to decorate our 1st ever x’mas tree for our office.

Oh ya!!! Did uou realise that I cut short my hair again... shorter and shorter... (Suit me or not ^_*)

Birthday dinner

2009-11-17T08:40:00.006+08:00

Sorry sorry ya... I know I have not been updating my blog for quite sometimes...

I just joined my current firm 2 months ago, and was busy busy shifting to new locality.

I loves my current job, it makes me really occupy and busy... life is so meaningful to me now...

This photo was taken during my birthday last 2 weeks, thanks to all my friends, who celebrated my birthday for me... We had an enjoyable dinner, filled with laughter and joy... They even wrote me a poem, which really touches my heart... I'll scan the letter and blog it next round ya...I have also received a set of perfume from them... Thanks, friend ya... know that I always wanna be smell nice... hehe!

Clubbing again!!!

2009-10-28T12:56:00.003+08:00

Recently, I'm in love with clubbing... almost every weekend... Ya ya ya! I know it's very damaging... I'm trying my best to minimize it dy....

Anguish!!!

2009-10-12T12:57:00.003+08:00

I met my ex-bf at my office area, I was walking to have my lunch at the coffee shop downstair... from far, I actually can sensed his existence... and I really met him...

I think he actually saw me from far, as when I sees him, he is actually staring at me... That sudden, I was wondering whether should I walk forward or backward?? My heart starts pumping fast, all of a sudden, I feel dizzy... nearly fainted... but, I keep reminding myself, I must walk past him with glory and pride...

His sparkling smile stalked me... damn! I cry again...

No doubt... I still love him.

Fullstop!!!

2009-10-01T08:33:00.009+08:00

I finally went to register a new hp line, from now onwards, cannot simply make uneccessary phone calls... gotta shell out for my own phone bill expenses mah.. thrifty thrifty thrifty!!!!

I met my ex-bf yesterday afternoon, he came to collect his CCTV board, eventually, I returned him the whole set of computer.

He looks so skinny, tanned and aged nowadays, he's not as striking and sparkling as before... I feel the sting... damn! silly, right!

He pronounced that I slim down too much, advised me to gain some weight... Hello! Didn't he realise that he's the one who makes me this thin??? well, no point for the blame anymore...

I insisted to pass him back the simcard... he accepted grudgingly. I greeted him goodbye and wishes him all the best in the future...

Goodbye to the only man I love so deeply in my life... Goodbye all the bare promises... He taught me love, and he taught me how brutal can love be...

I walked off gracefully without even turns back to have a last glance on him... though I still love him deeply.

A stanch decision!!!

2009-09-29T23:28:00.008+08:00

I finally decided to change my mobile number.

My current mobile number is subsidizing by my ex-bf, you might think that he’s very kind heartened, broke off already, still grant me this privilege.

I should have surrender this number, ever since we broke off, but… silly me still wish that he’ll return one day, still wish to keep this link, so that he can locate me anytime he wish.

In the other hand, he actually can track my location by friend finders.

However, I knew... if I dun renounce, I’ll forever be the same ME… the sadness will enormously gonna stalk me for era...

That’s the last link I had with him… Goodbye my love... Thanks for all the sweetest memories, cares, love and patience. Good bye… the bare promises…

An eventful saturday

2009-09-28T08:32:00.001+08:00

I went for hair rebond on Saturday morning, it takes me nearly 4hrs for the whole process, and I have to go through this dilemma, once in every 4 months. . I am actually so sick of it… (*cry*) as, I’m born with natural curl and jumbled hair…. So envy those friends of mine, who has got natural smooth, straight and manageable hair lah… Every morning, I have to spend so much time to manage my crown…

Later in the afternoon, I was invited by June to her hari raya open house… craving for rendang, curry and masak merah since days ago... but, she serves western food woh! Salad & spaghetti… dun care liao! Also gulp all lah, so damn hungry already! I finished 2 bowls of salad and 1 serving of spaghetti. After that, went home to recharge for my night event… clubbing!!!!

I went to T1 with Justina, she volunteered to drives me… she commented that she noticed even during normal days, I drive like a mad dog, what to say if I’m drunk… hehe! Aiyoh! No matter how drunk I’m, I will still drive home safely lah, friend!.. Ok lah! Since she so sincere, I’ll let her drive me loh... hehe!

My hairdresser friends, Eric & Joseph also came to join us… never even warm up yet ah, right away ordered 6 jugs of beer, equivalent to 24 tins… walau! Really can drink ah…

I met my another group of friends there too, who are all social drinker… they gave me a glass of johnie walker… without hesitation, of course, I yamsen with them lah…

When, I wake up the next day… I really feel like dying… dizzy, feels like my head gonna crack… caused by the liquor, I think… I should not have drink beer and liquor at the same time… damn me!!!

I joined Joseph for breakfast, then went home to nap again, luckily I feel much better after that.

At around evening time, I force myself to go for a round of gym to sweat… to pass out all the toxic I imbibe… Thanks goodness, I managed to sweat…

It’s Monday again… another 5 days of work…

Single or attached?

2009-09-25T09:05:00.009+08:00

I heard from radio mix myfm this morning, discussing on whether you prefer to be single or attached?

Most of the women who called in, prefers to be attached, they feels that being single is too lonely... no one's to care, no one's to discuss with, no one's to share their sorrow, no one's to talk to, no one's to share their piece of cakes, no shoulder to cry on......

For me, sometimes, I think I rather be single lah... Its really not an easy task to maintain a relationship.

Just imagine... 2 different species from 2 different planet.....

How about u?

Too much drinksss

2009-09-24T14:42:00.004+08:00

As per my friend's request, I hereby posted my ghastly drunk looks photos... everybody were so damn high that nite...

Wild wild group clubbing!!!

2009-09-23T08:48:00.005+08:00

Went for clubbing with colleagues and friends at Terminal 1 on last friday... we had a great great time, drinking, dancing, gossiping and laughing....

Oh my goodness...

2009-09-18T09:20:00.009+08:00

Geram..... I dreamt of my ex-bf again last nite... makes me mentally and physically so restless...

I dreamt that he brought me to a resort... (our best ever memories was at the resort)

We strolled at the beach, he hold my hands so tightly that he promised that he'll never let go of my hands again, begging me to give him a last chance.... of course, I feel so insecure lah, as he has abandoned me before mah... moreover, I still hasn't recover from the pain that he caused previously..

He brought me to the same seafood restaurant that we used to visit, finally... stoopit me.. really gave him a chance boh... then u know lah... wah! so loving loh, lying on his shoulder.... all the sweet talk lah..then, middle of the dinner, he suddenly disappear.... I tried to call him, but seems like I couldn't recall his mobile number anymore, I can't even find his record in my phone directory too... at the end, he appear, he told me that he decided to leave me again... shit shit shit..

I told him, this time I sure die... so damn heartache..

Then, alarm ring, time to wake up to work... shit!

So damn tired, dragging my feet to office tis morning, so damn restless, like running for thousand miles chasing after my ex-bf... damn!!!

Ever since, he ring me on the phone... I become so mentally unstable... LOVE KILLS!

Ex -bf called!!!!!

2009-09-15T15:02:00.009+08:00

My ex-bf suddenly call me yesterday afternoon... He never call me since couple of months ago.

He asked me about the location of the lawyer firm, which he used to send me before, it sounds weird, right?

What's his intention actually? wanna hear my voice? or heard about the news that I went clubbing and intentionally wanna call and check if I feel guilty towards him?

I finally stepped out and fly, why did he appear in my mind again...

I am struggling now, whether to change my mobile number, so that he will not be able to reach me anymore.. I want him totally out from my mind... such a heartless man!

A wild nite out

2009-09-13T15:00:00.008+08:00

I finally decided to moved on... step out and enjoy my life to the fullest.

It was such a fruitful nite out... I had dinner with Emily, June & hubby, thereafter, detoured to join my group of friends at Isabella for some card games and drinks, we left around 11pm, as majority of them are Cinderella...hehe!

Thereafter, Me & Emily went to Terminal 1 to meet my another group of clubbing friends. We had a really great time. The most fabulous part was... Our eyes keep focusing on the handsome DJ at the mezzanine floor... wow! he is really really cool lah.. we almost drool loh! *blush*

Looking forward to this long weekend holiday... Me & my colleagues wanna club till our pant drop...

Man!!!!!

2009-09-09T12:54:00.007+08:00

A close friend of mine called me last nite, says that she and her husband came into deal for divorce, due to lack of trust and communication.

She tried her best to cope and compromise him, but he never appreciate and ignore her totally, doesn't even bother to have a glance on her, sort of cold treatment, right!

Sometimes, I think... we women are so pitiful...

An advise from June, women must have pride... no compromising nor sacrifice... which I think is quite true...

As I mentioned in my previous post, declaring that I am still shadowing by my ex-bf's spell...

I told both my friends, Eric & June that I wanna be faithful to my ex-bf for the rest of my life, until I'm 6ft under... they think I am silly and stoopit... they says that eventually that man already screwing the whole world, yet I still wanna be faithful to him... hahaha!

New job!

2009-09-05T17:38:00.007+08:00

I just join an architect firm this beginning of the month, and it keeps me super super busy and occupy, but I love the job, as I find I can maximize my potential again, and I can go further with my strength and capabilities.. Also at the same time, there are no more obligation, as I am back to single now....hehe! Of course, I still love the feeling of being taking care of lah! Sounds like shouted out to the public.... I am waiting to be woo ya~ haha!

The photo was taken in my current office, looks messy at the background ya.. It's b'cos, we are in the midst of sorting and packing. Hurray! We'll be moving to our new office sometimes around middle or end of this month, it would be a super cool and nice office, we'll have fish pond, pet's house, private bar.. it's actually a bungalow... I'm anxiously looking forward to...

Will paste up the photos of my new office, after we shifted over end of this month.. so, stay tune! ^_^

Oreo Muffin

2009-08-26T09:12:00.007+08:00

So great, its school holiday now, I can sleep late.. wake up late... time for baking.... hurray!

I got this recipe from a friend of mine, Karen. I falled in love with it, when she passed me some to try. She says that I'm the only weird 1 to have love this oreo muffin... yamah! b'cos, I'm special mah! (Vormit!) hehe!

I love it, when it's fresh from oven... yummy~ yummy~

Ex-colleagues

2009-08-24T10:27:00.007+08:00

Mabel, me and mola met up for lunch last friday, we are ex-colleagues, known each other for 12 years, until today our relationship still go strong, still contacting each other, teasing each other, gasak each other... thats what real friends are for, right! hehe! We enjoyed a great great lunch at Planet Sambal, Padungan. Bill insisted to food by our dear rich taukeneo, Mabel.. hehe! I told her, should have it at Hilton Hotel mah, the most expensive 1.

Mola is the youngest among us, she has a very warm heart, always willing to accommodate what people request... everything also ok! She's always there to listen to my sorrow, she even cried with me, when I am sad... nothing can express how grateful I am to have her as my friend. I love u, momo! ^_^ I promised, I'll always be there too for you, when you needs me.

The most scenic moment

2009-08-20T10:04:00.009+08:00

Recently, I love to take photo on myself... to retain the most scenic moment mah... getting older day by day... if not now, then when? aged 50, 60...ah! by that time, gotta use a lot of photoshop loh ^_^

Some of my friends asked me, if i have done photoshop on the photos.... huh! really look so different from the real person meh? (cry!!!)

For your info, I just taken my above photos yesterday lah! dun puzzle, not 10 years back 1 lah *_* I swear!!!! ~_~

What a bad day!

2009-08-18T10:25:00.012+08:00

I bumped into my ex mother in law at Kenyalang market this morning.. it was like bumping into horrible ghost at 12 midnite. I was having my breakfast with friends at 2nd floor food stall. I think she must have saw me first before I saw her lah... She intentionally stand behind me and shouted at dunno who... then, when i turn around... oh my! shit! Its her... my friends were also shocked to see her, as she has such a heavy make up... super red blusher, blue eyes shadow and super super red lip... she's damn proud of herself 1, u know! She remark herself that she has got the most translucent complexion.

I really can't forget how she tortured and humiliated me during my past 11 years marriage. She makes me knee down on the floor to wash her clothing, while I am 6-7 months pregnant. She makes me wash her soiled panties, sometimes, even with shit and urine... U know! as daughter in law, I never deserve to have the share for the chicken thigh or good food. It's only reserve for the emperor and queen in the family... Whenever I am out dining with friends, by any chance there is fried chicken wing, I will start puzzling whether can i take the wing or not? My past still shadowing me...

The most unbearable memory is... she loves to sprinkle salt and vinegar to taunt the son to whack me... She claimed that during her times, her mother in law can have the authority to smack their daughter in law, if they dun take instruction correctly... TRY ME LAH! shit!

Believe it or not? my ex-husband never subsidize me even a single cent for household nor milk powder for our kids. Moreover, I am requested to buy grocery every beginning of the month, the reason is, I am staying under their bloody roof...

Every saturday, I even have to cook for all the brothers, sisters, brother in law, sister in law, cat & dog, around 18 of them. U know, they never willing to come a bit early to help up... always come right on the dot, sometimes, even while I still cooking, they already sit their butt down and enjoying the meal, I feel myself like an Indonesian housemaid... After they finished their meal, they will normally just lift their butt and move to the living room, while I have to do the cleaning and washing.

When i think of my past, I really sallute myself for been able to go through the harsh pace...

I managed to divorce him with a help from a closed friend. (Thanks, TP... I'm grateful) We have joint custody over the 2 kids, but... wat's the different, kids are always under my full care... he is fully occupied for his own wild nite life...

So, ladies... think, observe, see, feel, sense the man, before you marry them... of course, not everyone of them are evil, but prevention is better than treatment, right! Maybe, I'm the only unlucky 1.

arbitrary updates

2009-08-13T15:59:00.005+08:00

I have been quite busy lately, typically because.. I'll be leaving this job.

I feel a bit sorry that I abruptly leave this job, out of guilt, I facilitate my boss to shortlist and interview the suited candidates to fill my post.

This is the first time in my life, I carry myself as an interviewer. Aiyoh! Its not easy at all to interview people too ya. You have to be more firm than them, gotta have lots of lots of creative ideal questions to ask...

Maybe, I fret too much for the next person who's gonna take over me... Will she be able to cope and handle whatever situation? Though, I know it's not my ultimate responsibilities...

Insurance gang

2009-08-07T11:41:00.005+08:00

These are my insurance gang, from left is Emily (sweet single & available!), Uncle Eric (jokey! ^_^), June(superwoman!) and ME!

This photos was taken on the creepy nite out drinking session at June's mansion... which later makes chicken ME, mag and peggy flew home like thunder... after listened to the ghost stories...by June.

Recent progress

2009-08-07T10:11:00.011+08:00

I wish I can have more than 24hrs a day now, life become more meaningful and interesting recently, out of sticking my butt here in the office for 8hrs, I also attend my insurance training course at least 2 times a week, coach by my insurance manager at her mansion.

Previously, I was pretty forbia towards insurance agent, I think they are monster.. haha! but, after the courses, and the incident happened to my dad, I realised it is so vital to have a insurance coverage.

Take my daddy's incident as an example, merely because, we couldn't afford to bear the sky high medical cost at the specialist, we send daddy to general hospital and they kept him waited for 5 hours. Their fantastic excuse is... he is just a semi-urgent case... Stroke due to rupture of vessels at the brain is considering semi-urgent case??? then what is top-urgent case... dying??

If daddy would had bought a medical card at the earlier time, he might not obtain such a big impact on his health now...

Currently, me and my sister have to bear the overall family expenditures, of course, we don't mind, but we have limit capability too, we have our own family to support mah...

My dad is a very dutiful man, he passed his every single earned cents to my mum, but my mum had a very wrong concept... she thinks life is short, end of the world is coming, no point for saving... I don't mean to criticize my mum here, but... its really b'cos of her wrong concept, she leave us daughters in the deep shit now... of course, every month, we do contribute for the household, but now, we have to contribute double...

By that, I realise it's so important to purchase an insurance policy, either saving, hospitalization, critical illness or total permanent disable plan. I don't want my kids to suffer over my medical fee, nursing fee nor cremation fee...

I rather strink on my uneeded expenses, to pay for my insurance, which will gonna benefit me or my kids, with just a premium as low as RM8 a day.

At least today, I'm sure, if anything gonna happen to me, my kids will not ended up under the bridge... with the compensation, they can be well taking care of until age 18.

Insurance agents nowadays are not like old days, they have to attend courses, pass their examination, in order to have their individual license to sell.

I have passed my exam for life and general ^_^, but got another investment link 1 to take...gotta stick my face and stuck my head on the book again...

Moving on.....

2009-08-03T14:01:00.005+08:00

I finally made up my mind to move on, after sticking my butt here for almost 2 years.

My current job here is actually not too bad, all my friends so envy me that I have a cosy office of my own and yet not much work to do. The main issue is, I hardly got the chance to ultilise my brain.

I think life should be full of challenge and enthusiasm, we should able to maximize our potential.

I am looking forward to my new job, new environment, new group of friends, new colleagues, new job scope, new responsibilities... I love the feeling of achievement...

Instead of kuku here alone 8 hours a day...(Brain dead!)

Wish me good luck ya, friend!

Kinder Bueno

2009-08-03T10:37:00.006+08:00

I never fancy on tit-bit....but, recently ah... Madly in love with this Kinder Bueno chocolate... somemore, not cheap lah, selling at RM3.50/packet.

My uncle from miri lah, the culprit... he came last month to visit my dad, then bought me a dozen of this kinder Bueno from Ta Kiong Supermarket, The Spring... Never try never know, sekali try.. die hard.. everyday got the urge wanna eat it! Haha! Thx, Uncle! for bringing love to my life ^_*

Ladies and gentlemen out there, must try... Its really really nice lah.

My 1st awards

2009-07-31T11:36:00.005+08:00

I received my 1st awards from Josephine at http://josephine-beeleng.blogspot.com/ .Thank you so much, dear ^_^

According to Jo, to accept the award, post it on your blog together with the name of the person who has granted the award with his/her blog link. Pass the award to 15 other blogs that you've discovered and think are marvellous! Remember to contact the bloggers to let them know they have been selected for this awards. (Thx for the info, Jo)

I wish to pass these awards on to :-
Jen
Jerry Kiat
MeRy
Chris
Merryn

H1N1 disaster

2009-07-31T09:29:00.010+08:00

Just being told last nite by my ex-husband that my son are forbid to attend to school for a week, he has to quarantine himself at home...I was only been informed around 8pm+, which makes me really really mad... as I was suppose to pick him back from tuition centre at 9pm, and I am already on my way... he was already at his dad's house for the whole day...

The school principal did called the stoopit dad to my son, and stoopit him, never even try to find out, why is he forbid to attend school? what is the precaution we should take currently? Is he infected? or is he in high risk? When I asked his stoopit dad, he everything also said dunno... wanna eat shit, also dunno! really so pissed off with him... its not that I wanna look down on him, but... come on lah! ppl must learn and grow.

Previously, some of my friends think that I should give him a chance to be a good father or maybe a companion to me... sorry lah! I really made up my mind.. NO! NO! NO! He will causes me never ending trouble, a disaster to my life, a burden to me, which i tasted it during our 12yrs marriage... today, i finally managed to dispose it off... and I'm not gonna put myself in the deep shit anymore...

Ya, true! A person should be given a chance, but.... to him... I really dun think so lah, as he doesn't willing to improve nor to upgrade himself.

Oh ya! You guess wat my stoopit ex said? when i suggested that within this 7 days, better let my son quarantine himself at his house, as I dun think its good for him to come into contact with his sister who is only 9yrs old. The stoopit man replied:"then gua how? if he infected gua how???" I tell you, if he is standing in front of me, I will surely smack him... What sort of father is he? really shit...

I managed to speak to my son's form teacher, and came to understand that, actually, there are 5 students in the school has got high fever, one of them is my son's classmate and were all send to general hospital for blood test, the blood test result will only be out on this coming saturday, so, for those who has got minor or major cough, flu or bodyache are ordered to quarantine themselves at home.

Just received phone call from the school again this morning, they are following up closely on those blacklisted student, who has got cough... whether they have other symptom...

My slogan now... You can come out from the wrong hole, but never married to a wrong man! or else, your whole life will be totally ruin.... like ME!

A day without mobile

2009-07-30T17:12:00.003+08:00

This morning was in a hurry... only realised %&*%$# I forgot to bring my darling mobile out, almost reached lia lia's school liao... couldn't detour back to take, as lia lia nearly late for school... forget about it... reluctant to drive all the way back to get, as my house is quite far from town...say about 25 minutes...

A day without mobile is actually not too bad, I seems to enjoy the peace very much... hehe!

Wondering how many calls i missed today... yet to find out, when i reach home tonite!

New offer!

2009-07-29T10:05:00.006+08:00

I went for an interview at an architect firm yesterday. Of course lah, very nervous loh, even surf throught the net, to find the technic on how to prepare for a job interview... and nevertheless.. also tried to find about their company's profile. Do lots of homework leh!

It was quite a pleasant interview session by a troop of professional architects, kuku me, its being a long time, never seen such lots of professional species... The team are quite big... all are my age... I should be able to interact well with them in future...

An hour later after the interview session, I received feedback through phone, that I have been offerred post as Head of Admin, sounds nice ya, but surely there are lots of responsibilities loh... Frankly, I really dun mind to take the challenge loh! Same old story again.... after my bf left me... I cried everyday, kuku here everyday.... Keep telling myself, its time for me to take a step ahead... to see, smell & feel the whole new world out there... to have a new environment... new troop of friends... new new new! I wanna prove that... without him, I can still shine like a star... I can be SOMEBODY! I can I can! talk very loud lah, I know it will not be easy, but, I'll try my very very best, squeeze myself really really hard...to the maximum.

Creepy nite out!

2009-07-28T10:09:00.006+08:00

Invited by June last nite for a drinks at her mansion, so sweet of her.. thoughtfully planned a drinking session to ease my sorrow, with her gang of friends.

They were altogether 6 of us, we spend the nite drinking wine and cracked some jokes. Just before we left, June shared her real ghost stories...

Due to the reason that her house is located deep within lush trees... creepy creepy! We quickly cabut after her stories cuz don't like the idea of 12 midnight! Mag commented that's double dose of "mabuk"!

I left at around 11+, and drove home hastily..managed to reach home incredibly within 10 minutes...(cuz so damn scare mah...) They asked me if I am flying my car... hehe! sort of ...

This morning, Eric send me sms to mock me, asking if I am interested for a vacancy in his friend's company, duties of the job is flying a small light air craft... (gonna spank his butt, when i see him!!!)

Next time, I better ask for a lift lah, instead of driving alone... so damn horrible lah... I think I cannot take the ghost stories loh... My weak heart cannot take it lah... didn't had a good nite sleep.... dragging my feet to office this morning... moreover, got an interview to attend this afternoon... die hard lah! blank blank blur blur now, still not yet calm down... really chicken oh *_^

Do you ever love a person so deeply in your life?

2009-07-27T11:16:00.003+08:00

遇到曾經愛過的人… 記得微笑向他感激… 因為他是讓你更懂愛的人!

If you happens to meet your ex-lover, remember to smile and thanks him, for he has teached you comprehend on love. U agreed?

For me, I think it's so damaging... Leaving me makes him happier, but it causes me to lost all my confidence on relationship.

He was so sweet, humble, loving and patience, when we are so sweetly in love for 2 years plus, silly me didn't even realise that his love has faded away months ago, until he gets pissed off and told me off...

Once a while, I'll still miss him terribly...

I miss to be kiss at the forehead, when I am sad..

I miss to be hug, when i am insecure...

I miss every of our memories...

I just watched a taiwanese movie by the name of EASY FORTUNE HAPPY LIFE. Which trigger me again....pissed off! The storyline was about a grandma, who spend her whole life waiting for her boyfriend, who actually cheated on her, that he'll return to marry her, and at last she passed away, before she can manage to see the heartless man return to see her... until her very last breath, she still believe that he might have some obligation that holds him back.. until her very last breath, she still believe that the man actually love her... until her very last breath, she still grateful that she die with his love...

Die hard lah, me!... I feel I'll be the same like her...gratefully, wanna live alone until my last breath with our sweet memories and love... and die in glory!

I feel wanna knock my head on the wall already, why am i so stubborn, so faithful, so naive... also think that, he might has some obligationssssssss....(stoopit idea ya!)

He might be having his great time on bed with his new gf now, and yet... I still hold on to our promises and couldn't let go...

Please!!!!! Anyone can please help me.... Is there any good solution to get through all this shity idea...

Marriage Life

2009-07-22T09:48:00.007+08:00

Had breakfast with old friends at coffeeshop nearby office this morning. Chatted about our interesting past, our old hairstyle, our old fashioned dress.. which is around 15 years ago, that moment we are only in our 20's, energetic and fun..

We are all having the same complaints...Everyone agreed that their husband are not as loving, caring, patience & adorable like before. Everything turns the other way round.. During the dating time ah, everything also ok, everything also can... even if we unreasonably ask for the moon, also ok... Now ah, try lah! They will surely ask us, if we have lost our mind?... Who's fault actually.. Is it b'cos wife not patience, caring, loving enough that causes the husband,lost their patience/love on us?? Or is it b'cos the husband thinks that wife should compromise?? For me, relationship is a both way traffic, right? both parties should contribute..and women definitely needs more attention, love and care, even after married..

Thats why, I rather remain single now.. I really don't have the confidence to involve in relationship anymore, you may says that I am pessimistic, but I have came across 2 broken relationship, if only 1 party is contributing, its not gonna work at all..

U agreed?

Vision!!!

2009-07-20T08:52:00.009+08:00

Its being quite sometimes, I didn't update my blog, as I was too tight up with my daily schedule.

Yesterday, I went to a seminar organised by my AIA insurance company, the speaker was one of our most successful young insurance leader, Mr Lopez, a 30yrs old Indian, the most impressive part is ... he can speak fluent mandarin and hokkien..and he is invited to give a talk in Taiwan by a big Taiwan organization.

He came from a broken family, his dad left them for another women,when he was only in primary school, and he has a retarded sister, his mum was a homemaker... Its really a sorrow to him, which he has to work at coffeeshop after school, in order to earn to pay for his school fee and support his family. Eventhough, he is having a hard life, but he always has an vision that he wants to change his life, and expecting a better life.

He taught us that life is in our own hand, we have to visualise and trust in ourself, we can change our life..

He joined AIA 4yrs ago, when he was only 26yrs old, and he is now a millionaire, his current minimum income is one million a year, staying in a bunglow cost a million. His philosophy is.. we must have a mindset, a goal, a vision.... most importantly, we must be a big dreamer... daring to dream... We must always believe, we have a huge capability... we can expand to the maximum...If there is a will, there is a way... Every black clouds, there's a silver lining.

I get so motivate after attended his talk, which really also boost me up mentally and physically..

There were also awards presentation, I told myself, next year I wanna be one of them to stand on the stage to receive the award.. I want to & I will!!!

I drafted out my chart today, my dream home, my dream car, my dream life... set my vision, and I'm ready to go....

I wanna change my life, I want my life to be better, I wanna have glory of my life...

Wish me good luck ya, friend!

Disaster day!

2009-07-10T09:20:00.007+08:00

Yesterday was a disaster to me, as I wrote on my previous write-out, received call from sis that daddy falled down in the toilet, she couldn't afford to carry him up, end up he lie at the entrance of the toilet, I rushed back to assist to carry him back to his bed, feed him food and drinks, arranged him on the relaxing chair, then headed to work.

After work, I rushed back home to prepare some meal, as my ex-sister in law back from kl wish to have some prayer at my place, in the midst of cooking, daddy called, asked me to go over to assist mum to bath for him.

Later that, i rushed back home again to finish the cooking, its almost 9 already, time to pick up kids from tuition center, on the way back home, mummy called again, saying that dad's blood pressure shot up to 180... I rushed over again to see him, check his bp and monitor him a while.

Arrived home around 10 something... had dinner with my ex-sister in law, didn't even manage to pray.. do some wash up.. boil porridge for daddy... dragging my feet headed to sleep....

This morning slept over until 6am something...gosh! I suppose to wake up at 5am to steam fish for dad and send over together with the porridge for his breakfast, lunch and dinner... at the end, gotta send kids to school 1st, then detour back to daddy's house... brought the raw fish and steam at his home lah... so damn tiring now...

God, please give me good health, strength and stamina to sustain through this hard time.. Amen!

Daddy call!

2009-07-09T10:12:00.004+08:00

Its being quite sometimes, I didn't update my blog, had been busy with daddy lately and trying to squeeze time to sort out all my things which scatter all around in my new house... headache!

While drafting my blog just now, suddenly, I received phone call from daddy, he told me he falled on the floor and my sister couldn't afford to carry him up... I was so shocked and quickly rush back.

When I reached home, he was lying at the entrance of the toilet, my goodness! I quickly asked and checked with him, if he knocked on his head or anywhere... luckily not.

We carried him up on to the bed and thanks God, nothing serious happen.

Most importantly, I know God is always there for us, to guide and protect us. Amen.

Daddy got stroke!

2009-07-01T09:53:00.003+08:00

My daddy got stroke attacked on friday morning at 2:30am, luckily, he able to wake my mum up by whispering for help. Daddy totally lost the sense on his left side body.

We were so in shocked and I couldn't even recall what's the number for the ambulance, my sister only managed to find the phone number for Timberland Medical Center, so we ordered their ambulance, and he was been send to TMC for refferal to Sarawak General Hospital, as my dad doesn't has a medical card, and we really couldn't afford for the sky high medical fee.

My dad arrived at Sarawak General Hospital around 3:00am by TMC ambulance, the doctor checked on daddy and told us that he is semi-urgent case, so gotta wait till 8am for CT Scan, we asked the doctor, if he is semi-urgent case, why can't they do CT Scan for him immediately?? Stroke can be serious, right? U know what the doctor told me???? The CT Scan staff only start work at 8am, we can only call them in, if the patient is seriously unconcious... what the fuck is he talking about? Is it means that only if the patient nearly gonna die, only then they will do CT Scan for them immediately???

At that moment, I was so helpless...wat i can do is just to pray and pray and pray to God.. keep whispering at my dad's ear that he'll be fine, God is with him...

God really show his miracle, whereby, when i informed my Group Manager about my dad, he and his wife quickly called up the Pengarah of Sarawak General Hospital to expedite the check up for my dad, and guess wat? within 30 mins, they done CT Scan & X-ray for my dad, and send him in to the minitoring ward for close observation.

When i return to hospital from office, the young neurologist is there to check on my dad too..from the 1st glance, he showed his unhapiness towards me.. the reason is, b'cos the Pengarah of SGH querry them for the delay of treating my dad. While explaining about my dad's condition to me, he talked in a way like I have killed his beloved.. (shit! so damn angry!) but still try to control my anger... who's fault now??? If anything happen to my dad due to the delay of treatment, I'll make sure, he'll be in a deep shit.. He talked like its not a big deal... Wat if the person lying on the bed is his dad????? Can he still be so calm???

The neurologist showed me the CT Scan report that there is blood clog on the right side of the brain, due to his high blood pressure, that burst the blood vessel, that causes him losing the sense on the left side. No operation needed, as the blood clog only cover 1/4 right side of the brain.. (I wonder, if it really covered the whole right side...still can survive???)

The doctor also mentioned that my dad's blood pressure medicine dosage is not adequent enough for him... another fuck...All the while, my dad having his follow up closely at Polyclinic... if the dosage is not sufficient enough.. Who's fault again????

Daddy had been transferred to Sentosa Hospital on last friday for Physio therapy treatment. I wish he can get well soon. Please pray for my daddy.

Confession.. I like someone!

2009-06-24T15:27:00.008+08:00

I dream of my ex-bf almost everynite.. I presume he's my one and only love, but, recently, I realised that I keen to log in to one of the blogger's post every 1st thing in the morning, even before I log in to my own blog.

I realised after reading his post, disregard whether its old or new post, it actually can soothe my anxiety..., but, on the other hand, i feel the guilt... towards my ex-bf, his promises still shadowing me...

I really wish i could put behind all the sweet memories I had with him, and hastily start on a new life...

Thanks god, I finally have the heart to admire someone! Its a good kick start for me, right?

My kitchen haven

2009-06-22T14:58:00.007+08:00

My kitchen haven finally in, but the contractor hasn't fix up the door for the cabinet yet, so it looks a bit chaotic.

I am desperately looking forward to cook my favourite fetuccine carbonara, spagetti and lots more... of course, not forgeting...baking too... hopefully, they can fix up everything by this week.

I shall organise a house warming refreshment by next week, to thanks my friends for contributing gifts for my new sweet home.

I will bake and cook my own as a token of gesture to all my friends.

Visit to GH

2009-06-18T11:26:00.006+08:00

I went to visit Chris yesterday nite at general hospital, she supposed to schedule for an operation yesterday morning, but due to the congestion, her operation has been postponed to the following day evening.

I just came to realise that Kuching General Hospital is expanding to such a huge area. I nearly lost my way in there... imagine... lost in hospital.. hehe!

Somemore, got frighten by the lift... watch too much horror movie... at 1st, I thought the lift got automated sensor lighting mah, which means, only when got ppl enter the lift, then the lighting will turn ON, I was actually a bit scare to enter the lift all by myself, but at that moment... only me alone loh... so no choice must enter... the moment when the door was 1/2 closed, i realised how come the lighting was not ON yet oh, I suddenly so shocked like a mad dog, without second thought, i terus rush out banging the 2 semi closed door... the moment I rush out ah, I saw got 2 uncles, who were just happens to pass by got shocked too, they thought i met HANTU! so humiliating lah! so ah, if you are not brave enough ah, dun go visiting at the GH at nite lah... or maybe, just me, I'm too chicken~_~

The moment, when i reached my sister's ward, i was already mentally and physically exhausted.. in a way, I look more like a patient than my sister do.

I saw a lot of patients, can see that they are so suffering... I suddenly feel that life are so fragile and short, we should learn to treasure and cherish every moment we have now. At least, its a blessing from God, that we are healthy today.

So, friend who likes clubbing, better stop smoking and drinking lah, nobody wanna ends like that, right? learn to take care of our health... life are short, should locate our time for more meaningful things.. U agree or not?

Skincare

2009-06-16T14:40:00.011+08:00

After I came back from my Damai trip, due to the vigorous exposure under the hot hot SUN.. caused damaged on my face.. pimples,blackhead and wrinkles all lines up (geram!!!)

I bought a bottle of Flebeaute eyes serum from faceshop last week, and its quite effective, after using it for around a week, I realised the wrinkles has subside around my eyes.

I was given a few packets of their Flebeaute Collagenic night cream, surprisingly, it is also the most effective night cream i ever use, it really lock the moisture on my face and my skin became more supple and smooth.

Ladies ah, in term of skincare, no matter how expensive it is, as long as its effective, pok kai also wanna buy...hehe! agree or not?

New life

2009-06-16T09:13:00.007+08:00

I have been quite moody since last week... after my sister told me that she saw my ex-bf holding another lady in his arm, which means, he finally found another love in his life...

I know I should not be sad or bother about it... (stoopit me, right!) He doesn't worth my tears at all too!

Ever since, he left me... my health drastically deteriorate, I lose total 10kg overall, seldom can have a good nite sleep, I dreamt of him now and then... and b'cos of that, I realised I aged a lot...
I cut my hair short to shoulder length last friday... to change a new look... dun suit me kah? dun care lioa lah! already cut ...haha!

I must up keep my appearances again lah... dun wanna look haggard... I wanna live more happily and meaningful.. I wanna colour the wall of my life... I surely can!!!!

The Garden@Jalan Laksamana Cheng Ho

2009-06-09T16:02:00.008+08:00

Went to the garden last sunday, to do some survey on nice potted plants for my balcony, living room and washroom. There are too many varieties, until I can't decide which 1 to choose.

Amelia has choosen 3 little flower potted plants for herself, she always dreamt to plant her own flower plant with seeds, which is impossible lah, provided one's got the green hand. If she is like her mum, then she better forget about that idea... hehe!

She water her plant every morning, the moment she open her eyes, before she greet her mum.. Ever since, she got her dream plants, her mum became her 2nd priority liao! ~_~

The Eatery@Four Points Hotel

2009-06-09T15:02:00.004+08:00

I was invited to have buffet lunch at The Eatery at 4 points Hotel last saturday, RM38++ per pax.

The scenery was nice and cosy, they serve western, eastern and japanese food.

I love especially the salad with balsamic vinegar.. yummy!

Buffet are sinful... its being quite sometimes, i never swallow so much food in 1 go.. I remembered i eaten 1 slice of blueberry cheesecake, 8 small cupcakes, 3 rounds of salad with salmon, tempura and lots more...

Somehow I think, they are quite smart to serve free flow of softdrink, so that ppl cannot eat a lot... Clever me.. only drink plain water.. buffet boh.. very expensive mah.. ya ya! I know, I' m not the 1 who's paying... hehe!

Gawai visit to Kampung Benuk

2009-06-03T10:07:00.006+08:00

On the 1st day of Gawai, I went to visit my best friend, Mola. It takes around 45mins to reach her Kampung - Kampung Benuk.

Pic taken at the long house with Mola. (Ms Kampung Benuk.. hehe!)

According to Mola, this is called GONG, their Bidayuh tradition.

This is SANGGAR, they will circle the SANGGAR, pray and chant with their own language on the eve of gawai.

Pic taken with Mola's family after we wallap all the delicious cuisine prepared by Mola's mum.. Thx aunty ^_^

Damai Puri trip

2009-06-03T09:47:00.003+08:00

I'm back... luckily didn't got sunburn, but skin became so tan loh! (gotta hide in the dark for at least a month loh!) haha! I didn't stroll at the beach at nite lah, just walked around the whole resort with sisters and parents... so tired already mah! My family... I'm still the fairer 1 ya.. hehe!

Really enjoyed sliding down around 10 plus times.. hehe!

Played kayak for nearly 2 hours, imagine under the hot hot sun for the whole morning... can imagine how tan i am now ~_~

Had breakfast with daddy and mummy... its kinda expensive loh, RM40/pax, not yet include service tax and government tax, only a few variety of choices only, really not worth it loh!

Monkeys family ^_^

Its a pleasant and fruitful trip.

Damai Puri.. I'm coming!

2009-05-29T17:06:00.004+08:00

Hurray! Damai Puri.... I'm coming!!!!

Looking forward to an enjoyable swim, beach strolling & lots lots more... yeah!

I really wanna try the slide at the kid's pool lah... dun be surprise, if you happen to see me sliding 100 times down... hehe! to release my tension ah? no lah!!

U agree?

2009-05-29T09:12:00.002+08:00

My friend send an sms...

感叹男人: 有才华的长的丑、长的帅的挣钱少、挣钱多的不顾家、顾家的没出息、有出息的不浪漫、会浪漫的靠不住、靠的住的又窝囊;

感叹女人: 漂亮的不下厨房、下厨房的不温柔、温柔的没主见、有主见的没女人味、有女人味的乱花钱、不乱花钱的不时尚、时尚的不放心、放心的没法看.

老婆是电视、情人是手机、在家看电视、出门带手机、破产卖电视、发财换手机、偶尔看电视、整天玩手机、电视终身不收费、手机欠费就停机。三十岁的男人正在学坏、抱着同一代唱着同样的爱、四十岁男人已经学坏、抱着下一代唱着迟来的爱、五十岁男人最坏、抱着第三代、唱着糊涂的爱！

U agree?

Can couple becomes friends?

2009-05-27T12:19:00.009+08:00

Can really a couple becomes normal friend after broke off?

As you know, me and my bf broke off months ago, but he'll still call me occasionally.. Stoopit me! still wish that he'll call, still miss to hear his voice, still wish to know how is he getting on now..

Eventhough, I always deem that I hates him for he has abandoned me.. internally, I still wish that he is happy, healthy and alive.

If you ask me, do I still miss him? Is the pain still unbearable? Yes, yes... can't deny. The pain is still there... and of course, provided that I dun spread salt on it lah... whenever, I think I miss him, or something trigger me to miss him, I'll still cry my lung out, But I'll pray to God, learn to rely on to God, for he will never abandon me nor hurt my heart.

I started to learn to dress well and be more sociable recently, I wish I can be a whole new ME!

Looking forward to my damai puri trip with family & friends this coming weekend. U know ah! My friend's hubby suggested me to roll on the beach like bollywood star, so that he can help me to snap the photo and paste it on my blog.. (Is that the way to celebrate that I am back to single life ah?) hehe!

This trip, I should try to walk alone at the beach, as I never try so before... for the past, he will always be there to hold my hand, lovingly stroll along the beach. I wonder if i dare to try at nite ho.. I'm scare of ghost boh! *_*

I should learn to be independent... I have to!

Wish me good luck ya, friend... I'll update my photos, once I am back after the Gawai holiday next wednesday.

Happy advance Gawai, friend.

My sister, Chris

2009-05-20T08:45:00.006+08:00

It was my sister's birthday on 13 May 2009. There was no birthday party, as Chris is a very thrifty lady.. hehe! so, our mum bought her a cheese cake, and we all just sing her birthday song at home.. Sorry, Chris. I actually wanna surprise you with a birthday party, but my tight schedule are exhausting me... Chris, I wish to take this opportunity to thank you for being such a lovely sister. I really cherish for what you have done for me, even willingly to spare out your bedroom to me. I really feel so bad for occupying your room, and all your belonging are scatter all around. I wish my apartment can be ready soon, so that, you dun have to share room with daddy & mummy.

I love you, sis. I'll always stand by you, whenever you need me.

Lamp for new home (1)

2009-05-19T11:07:00.006+08:00

I bought this lamp for my bedroom at the price of RM200.. hehe! worth the price... of course also bargain bargain until saliva also dried up lah!

Lamp for new home

2009-05-18T09:33:00.004+08:00

I bought 3 units of this lamp last week for my new home, but from 2 different lightning shop. The 1st unit, I bought was at the price of RM150, somemore bargain bargain until saliva also dried up. . Few days later, i went to another lightning shop at Satok area, came to realise that they are only selling at RM98, somemore give discount until $86... Gosh! so heartache lah.. whenever, i see the lamp now ah, i'll start cursing lah... with the price of RM150, of course top up a bit, i can get 2 units lah.. sien!

Mother Day

2009-05-12T15:28:00.004+08:00

Had an early mother day celebration on 8 May 2009. There are altogether 9 of us.. multi-races ~_~ from left to right are my youngest sister's bf (malay), my youngest sister, mum, dad, me, my son & daughter, my 3rd sister's bf (korean) and my 3rd sister.

Sexy Belly Dance!!

2009-05-11T14:15:00.003+08:00

Last friday, I went to Scoop to see a belly dance show, per ticket is RM25 for a scope of gelato and 1 glass of red wine, not kick enough leh...haha! It was indeed an interesting experience, as its only for ladies's eyes... The lady dancer was so sexy and seducing, I was throughly attracted by her dance, eventhough I'm not a male species ~_~ Her shape was so proportionate... so, I make up my mind, I wanna learn belly dance too...hehe!

Sorry ah! the video was not so clear on certain part, as it was a bit dark there.

Never ending problems.....

2009-05-05T09:11:00.003+08:00

Somehow, I think my life are really suck.

I lawfully divorced with my ex-husband in year 2007, our marriage lasted for only 13 yrs. We have 2 childrens, currently aged 14 and 9. The reason I divorced is, I can't stand to being abused by my ex-husband day by day, whenever he's drunk.. actually almost everyday. He's a alcoholic, drug addict and womanizer.

I am sure, you will wonder, why married to this kind of man?... Well! Love is blind.. the moment when we were together, we were both young and playful, I thought we are meant to be together.

After our 1st child was borned, everything changed, he is still outgoing, whereas, I have to stay back to take care of the lil 1, we started to have arguements. He started to become violent, during my 2nd pregnancy, he'll intentionally kick my tummy, and bang my head against the wall.. Thanks God, I managed to survive everytimes, eventhough frequently in and out from several hospitals.

God granted me 2 kids, so that I have the strength to struggle and live on for them till now.

***********************************************************************************

I received a missed call message this morning, when i turned on my mobile. My ex-husband called me once at 3:02am and another unknown number called me twice at 3:07am.

I also received 3 sms.

1st sms from unknown number, who i realised its his girlfriend.

"i ask u dont call ah *** ready k, now i is ah **** girl friend k, if u no understanding just call me no need call ah **** ready pls"

2nd & 3rd sms from unknown number, my ex-husband must have borrowed the phone from his friend to send me this sms.

"pls dont call back n dont answer unknow person call n no call my 019. if got anything u just say want 2 buy my house o rent k tq so sorry :-("

The storyline is, we own a double storey terrace house jointly under our name, which is currently still under bank loan, I requested him to transfer it back fully to his name, as I need to purchase my own house, using my EPF, but then, he offerred me and our kids to stay in his newly bought apartment, since its vacant, and he doesn't intend to sell it yet.

He brought us to view the house on last sunday, and our kids was so overjoyed over it. Kids....

He also brought us to choose the lamp for the apartment last nite... of course, we drove our own car lah, not chip in to 1 car.. but my daughter followed his car, and my son prefer to follow me, he doesn't pretty likes his dad... b'cos, for how his dad treated me previously. I managed to choose 2 lamps I like..... (those like IKEA!)

I was quite strugglling, whether should I or should not move to stay in his house? Will he still come to harrass me, when he is drunk? Will his gf come to harrass me? (his gf currently working in a pub, and as far I know she is quite an aggressive lady, she uses to fight with ppl in the pub 1... gosh!) eventhough, I can swear that, its just for the sake of the our kids... Over my dead body lah, I will not go back to him, ok! I don't wanna have that kind of life anymore, I dun wanna be harrass..... Why is my luck so bad ah? while I am still his wife, I got harrassed by his lovers, after divorced, still got harrass by his girlfriend. I think the best thing to do is not to buy a house.... better think of migrate elsewhere... haiz!

I think I can ask him to give me the lamps as a gift now lah... I dun think I wanna move to stay in his apartment, I dun wanna be disturb by his girlfriend... I have had enough tragedy... I dun wanna be drama queen lah, pls~

A day trip to Zoo

2009-05-04T10:23:00.007+08:00

Went for a day trip to Matang Wild Life Centre with parents, sisters, my 2 lil monsters & members of Tai Chi Association. There were around 45 of us, majority are grandpa & grandma. It was such an enjoyable & fun trip. This is the 1st time ever in my life, i ride on bus and went for a trip with parents. It was a sunny sunny day, so... i sweated like i just came out from shower...

This is the map of the Zoo.. SOB SOB! climbing staircase up and down.

Monkey Daddy and his 3 monkeys daughter ^_^

There were not much animals to see.. only deer, monkeys , porcuppine, Orang Utan & etc, its more like a hiking trip to me ^_^ S-L-I-M Mission!

My 2 kids

2009-04-29T10:04:00.006+08:00

Dear, God.

Please help me to get through this hard time, I thought I already overcome it, I thought I already managed to forget him, managed to take a baby step ahead to start on a new life.

Why? do i miss him terribly again this few days... my health start to deteriorate... I lost my appetite, having sleeplessness nite.

I keep telling myself that I have to be strong, I have to struggle to live for the sake of my 2 kids, they'll be more pity without me... Mummy wanna apologize to you 2, that mummy always makes you 2 worry.

I had a minor cut at the finger yesterday, the wound bleeded nonestop, I can see from my kids' eyes that they are so afraid of losing me... my son & daughter grip my hand so tightly and plead me to be strong and eat more, they complained that I have been losing a lot of weight recently... I am really sorry, dear... Mummy loves you, Ja & Lia.

Mum....I need you!

2009-04-27T10:23:00.005+08:00

I feel so moody since last week.

Partially, its b'cos mum started to give me cold treatment again.. I moved back to stay with my mum for nearly a month, I help her up with all house chores, cooking and washing. Recently, she even asked me to prepare dinner, eventhough I'll only be able to reach home around 6:30pm.

I don't have the intention to criticize my mum, b'cos she is still my biological mum.

I fulfilled her every needs and request, but she doesn't appreciate at all, she always think i have not repay her enough, for she has raised me.

I always remember, when i was violently beaten up by my drug addicted ex-husband, she never stand by me and say a word for me, she even told my ex-parent in law that she doesn't wanna get involve.. just b'cos they are wealthy, then you can let them torture your daughter??

Mum... I am not a superwomen.

Mum, even if you can just says that you love me... its already means the world to me.

A moment of sadness

2009-04-23T09:20:00.004+08:00

I suddenly got spanked by sadness this morning. Out of the blue, I cried my lung out again.. Why are women so sentimental? why can't we be more manly and conscious? I try to keep myself busy and occupy, I know I'll breakdown again, if I let to have free time.

I never love a man this deeply and whole heartedly before... I love him more than my own life.. I know if he doesn't wants me, nothing can makes him stay. I know I have to let go... to start on with a new life... I know time can heal, but the scar will forever be there... as he has hurted me deeply.. Its really hard to forgive and forget.. I know I have to try really hard..

I received an email from Jo, I wish to share with all my ladies friends.

WHAT OPRAH HAD TO SAY ABOUT MEN!
[1] If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
[2] If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
[3] Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
[4] Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
[5] Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.
[6] Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
[7] If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't be "friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
[8] Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
[9] The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
[10] Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women.He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
[11] Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
[12] Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
[13] Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
[14] You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
[15] Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
[16] He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
[17] Never let a man define who you are.
[18] Never borrow someone else's man.
[19] If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
[20] A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
[21] All men are NOT dogs.
[22] You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is two- way street.
[23] You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship
[24] You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complimentary .....not supplementary.
[25] Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
[26] Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
[27] Never move into his mother's house. Never co-sign for a man.
[28] Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need.
[29] Keep him in your radar but get to know others.